Alright, I'm getting tired and I'm running out of steam. but I felt like I needed to blog.
Today I had no incentive to write. I felt whiny and crabby and tired when I tried to start. I could almost hear myself complain "But I don't WANT to do that right now." The thing was I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to watch tv, read, write, eat, swim, sleep, stay awake. I had no interest in any kind of activity or choice. It was a very melancholic/lethargic mood, and it's something I struggle with at times.
I like to entertain myself with the thought that Sherlock Holmes suffered from similar fits, and were usually preceded at proceeded by fits of periods of genius and accomplishment. They were likely brought on by the drug use, but w/e.
I don't know that genius ever comes before or behind these bouts of lethargy, in some kind of cathartic balance; but I do know that making myself be more than mindlessly active while I feel that way sucks.
However. that doesn't mean there isn't a nice pay off if I manage to subvert my subdued feeling. But today, I forced myself to write. I pushed myself to put out 2k words, and for the first 1.5k I was checking my word count every couple hundred words. It was arduous, but finally I was just 400 words away, so I decided to do a 15 minute word spring, to finish up. 15 minutes later I was just shy of 500 words, and it wasn't long after that that I had surpassed my goal of 2k words by over 500 words.
The writing isn't perfect, and I messed up the cannon a little bit, but I surpassed my goal for the day. and more importantly, I over came that whiny voice that wasn't willing to be satisfied with any course of action.
So yay me! I have realized something through this though. If I was very lucky, and motivated, I could reach my every goal by this fall. I could create a website, write a book, finish a book, and revise both books, while writing a third book that I'd be posting to my website. It's possible I could achieve all these things by the time I go to worldcon in the fall. But it's possible that september will find me with no upkept website, no routinely updated book or blog found on the website. and two unfinished, unrevised books.
So what can I cut out? The website shows a level of seriousness, that I'm hesitant drop. But at this stage in my career, there's not much I can post on there beyond the blog and free book. So I can't really cut either of those things if I plan to keep the website. I'm changing my publishing of the web book to a weekly post of 5k words, in an attempt to give me a better chance to remain consistant.
But it wont be enough. I had to decide which novel to get manuscript ready by the fall. One of them, has 60k words written already. The other has around 6k But WtL, has two drawbacks, despite being further along. One, I am very undecided about many aspects of it, and I'm struggling with what to rewrite. and two, it's the first book in a series. New authors are much more likely to sell a stand alone book than a series. It's also my first novel, and therefore not likely to sell. Perhaps I could finish, revise, and make it manuscript ready by the fall, but I'm not even confident I could do that.
While, I'm not thrilled at the idea of dropping WtL for the next several months, distance might provide a new perspective. I also have the new novel (tentatively named Brendon's darkness) outlined in many ways. the specifics are still coming to me, as I'm largely a discovery writer. but I know the story line. I have the plot summery worked out. it shouldn't take me long to bring it to a full length novel. The goal is to have it written by august, and revised by September. and made manuscript ready by the end of the first or second week in September.
Even this goal feels slightly daunting today, especially considering I'd like to have eight posts totaling 40k words written and posted in my 7kingdoms, web novel.
Deep breathes everyone. I can do this. I will do this. That said, this blog may take a bit of a hit in that time. I'll post at least once a week, but I can't guarantee it will be more than that. Once the fall hits, I'll start working up to daily posts again. Although, november will likely see a decline for nanowrimo, but we'll worry about that when we get there.
For now, wish me luck. And take care.
XD
Hmmm... If you had to postpone something, WtL sounds like its benefits are already sort of delayed. Considering it will turn into a series and is less likely to be the first published, maybe giving it a break and focusing on a basis as an author that will eventually benefit the WtL series is a better idea. You kind of already said that yourself, though. I don't really want you to push it back much either though... I want to read book #2.
ReplyDelete(I don't know how this works so... Its Michelle)
Hey Michelle. Yes, you're absolutely right, and that is indeed my plan.
ReplyDeleteAssuming I get Brendon's Darkness done by September. The next project will be to finish up WtL book 1, and then I'll probably do book 2 for my nanowrimo, cause there's good symmetry there.
It'll probably be december or January before I"m ready for alpha readers, unless I share sections along the way.
No worries though, You'll have to reread WtL book 1 for the changes.
When I get my website fully up and running, and start posting my web book there, you might enjoy that as well. I'll be attempting to make it slightly episodic, so you wont have to give it much more attention than a TV series.